House Burner
by Idiots Inc
Summary: (Pg-13 to be safe)*YAOI* Naruto burnt down Sasukes house. (Who saw that coming?) And now Sasuke has to stay with Naruto. (Bad summery, good story!)
1. Burny Burny!

We took turns writing this. (Duh) And it says who wrote what.  
  
* * * * *  
  
[Ari]  
  
Naruto glances at Sasuke. "I swear I didn't..."  
  
"Yes, you did!" Sasuke yells for the millionth time.  
  
"I DIDN'T BURN YOUR F***ING HOUSE DOWN!" Naruto yells, although he DID burn Sasuke house down. But he didn't want the black haired boy to kill him,  
  
(Katie: Who would?)  
  
(Hanna: Why did he do it, you ask? That's for your dirty mind to figure out!)  
  
So... ya.  
  
[Katie]  
  
"Naruto..." Sasuke hissed menacingly, "ADMIT IT YOU ONORE!!!"  
  
Sasuke tackled the younger boy, and pressed him forcefully to the ground.  
  
(Katie: And he chooses option D!)  
  
(Ari and Hanna: Yay!)  
  
[Hanna]  
  
"I know you did it. So you might as well admit it, no hard feelings..." Sasuke said, with a fake smile, his arm around Naruto's neck  
  
"Ok, Ok, I did it!" Naruto reluctantly admitted.  
  
Sasuke got a burst of rage, and tightened his grip on Sasuke's neck, so he was in a headlock.  
  
"Owwwwww!!! Sasuke!! You said No hard fee..." But Sasuke drawing a kunai to Naruto's neck and roaring cut him off.  
  
"WHY DID YOU DO IT?!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!"  
  
Sasuke dropped to his knees, and started bawling like an idiotic baby. Naruto had to admit, seeing Sasuke like that, was pretty hilarious.  
  
[Ari]  
  
Naruto, then suddenly feeling sorry for him, kneels down next to him and pats his head.  
  
(Katie: I can't read your writing! How do you expect me to type this?! It looked like 'parts his herd'!!! Gr-ness!)  
  
Sasuke stops crying, and leans his head to Naruto's chest.  
  
"Uhm... I-I'm sorry?" Naruto stuttered, a bit (A: Ok, a lot) scared.  
  
He leans down. "No, really. You're scaring me."  
  
Sasuke suddenly looks up, his eyes swollen, and...  
  
BITES NARUTO'S NOSE OFF!!!  
  
(Ari: Just kidding!)  
  
(Katie: That was her idea, not ours!)  
  
(Hanna: Yeah, we only agreed...)  
  
What REALLY happened-  
  
[Katie]  
  
"Uhm... I-I'm sorry?" Naruto stuttered, a bit scared.  
  
Sasuke leans in closer, and looks up, so his nose is straight with Naruto's.  
  
He pressed his mouth to Naruto's hungrily, licking at the blond boy's lips, begging for entrance.  
  
Naruto was about to comply and open his mouth, but Sasuke roughly pulled away.  
  
"Where in the seven hell's did that come from?" Sasuke asked to no one in particular, kind of panicking at his burst of emotion.  
  
Naruto blushed.  
  
[Hanna]  
  
"Ahem... forget that happened. I have no freakin' idea what got into me."  
  
"Right... I guess Kakashi-sensei said your staying with me -since it's my fault- until the damage is repaired. We have to stay in the same room though, because there's not much room in the first place... But we each get a double bed." Explained Naruto, changing the subject.  
  
"Whatever... I have to go think..." Said Sasuke.  
  
"Are you gonna be ok?" Naruto asked nervously.  
  
"Yeah... I think." And with that, Sasuke walked off.  
  
While taking a walk, Sasuke thought to himself: 'ok, I'm stuck with Naruto for a LONG time. But, even though he's a dirty rotten HOUSE BURNER, he's been kinda sweet...'  
  
[Ari]  
  
Sasuke suddenly hunches over, bad thoughts running through his mind.  
  
'NO!! Must... stop imaging Naruto nude! Must stop thinking about him altogether!' Sasuke thought furiously.  
  
(Katie: Bad Sasuke! Bad Sasuke!)  
  
(Ari: Good Sasuke! Good Sasuke!)  
  
He 'angrily' gets up, and goes back to the house to explore.  
  
He finds Naruto's room, in which his daydreams come true.  
  
He opens the door, to find shirtless Naruto trying to get his pants on.  
  
(Katie: Why? Ask Ari.)  
  
'Aaaah... silky boxers... Joy...' He thinks.  
  
[Katie]  
  
Naruto then chose the time to turn around, he saw Sasuke, and began screaming profanities at him.  
  
He dropped his pants, ran to Sasuke, and tried to shove him out, but Sasuke dodged, and Naruto went tumbling into the hallway, crashing forcefully into the opposite wall.  
  
He groaned, and struggled to sit up, feeling a large bump forming on his head, and the blackness swallowing him...  
  
[Hanna]  
  
"Sasu...ke..." Naruto's body flops to the ground with a dull thump.  
  
Sasuke just stared at Naruto for a few minutes, deciding what he should/could do...  
  
Naruto was asleep.  
  
In his boxers.  
  
So what is he was bleeding a bit? (He would survive)  
  
He looked so hot...  
  
'No! Must not think dirty thoughts! Must not... Aw, heck.' Thought Sasuke, and he leaned down and kissed Naruto passionately, trying to slip his tongue between Naruto's parted lips.  
  
Naruto awoke to find Sasuke leaning over him, panting for air, and yelled,  
  
"You... PERVERT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"  
  
[Ari]  
  
Sasuke seems to come to his senses a bit later, and quickly leaves the room. Naruto hears the shower running, and decides (His more perverted side ^.~) to get Sasuke clean towels. He opens the bathroom door -arms full of fluffy towels- and the door slams shut behind him. He realizes to late what had happened.  
  
"Crap..."  
  
A totally naked Sasuke glared at him from behind the shower curtain -water still running- and says, "What did you just do?"  
  
"It's locked."  
  
[Katie]  
  
Sasuke, forgetting he was naked, left the shower, ran to Naruto, and began strangling him.  
  
"YOU" Shake. "IDIOT!" Larger shake.  
  
Naruto doesn't care as much as he should have, because a naked Sasuke was shaking him!!  
  
(Katie: would you have fought back? I don't think so!)  
  
"Sasuke..." Naruto said after his brains began becoming scrambled eggs. (More then they were in the first place)  
  
Sasuke looked himself up and down, yelped, and dodged behind the shower curtain.  
  
"Ok dobe, what now?"  
  
"DON'T CALL ME DOBE!"  
  
--==*==--  
  
Katie: Ah! Yay! End chapter one! We wrote all of this (Except my last insert) around midnight to 2 am, so forgive us if it's stupid. It's supposed to be that way... Enjoy!  
  
Unfortunately, the others are not here to comment today. Gomen.  
  
(Insert a bad excuse here)  
  
(Insert witty-ending comment here)  
  
(Insert audience and Katie laughing heartily at witty-ending comment here)  
  
(Insert Katie waving here)  
  
(Insert Katie leaving the stage here)  
  
(Insert Katie untying Hanna and Ari here) 


	2. Secrets

[Hanna] "I can call you a dobe, because it's the truth."  
  
"Oh really? Well then you're a... a...poo-head!" Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto was so immature; it was kinda cute, but pretty annoying.  
  
"Ok, so can you like GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE SO I CAN GET DRESSED?" yelled Sasuke, still covering his *areas* with a towel.  
  
"Umm...I CANT GET OUT, BAKA!!! We're locked in." Complained the secretly happy Naruto. "You'll just have to get dressed in front of me."  
  
"I'd rather have my eyes plucked out by ravenous Koalas, but hey, it's my only choice. Now, gimme those clothes, I'm going to change BEHIND the shower curtain." Said Sasuke.  
  
Naruto handed him the rumpled pile of clothes and he went behind the curtain. Unfortunately, the curtain was whitish, and Naruto could see 'outlines.' He found himself trying to peek around the curtain, and finally Sasuke came out to see Naruto trying to peek into the curtain.  
  
Ok, this bathroom happened to be very small, so the two boys could just barely stand in it side by side without going into the shower. So when Sasuke came out and said "YOU PERVERT!! WHAT WERE YOU DOI...?"  
  
Naruto and him bumped heads, 'accidentally' brushing lips.  
  
[Ari] Sasuke's eyes widen. He jerks away. "Kuso! Why the hell did you do that?!"  
  
Naruto glares at him. 'He's so cute when he's mad,' he thinks to himself. "I didn't mean to." "Sure."  
  
Sasuke shoots a death glare at him and sits on the opposite side of the small room.  
  
[Katie] Naruto sighed, and sat down on the edge of the sink. He kinda wished Sasuke would at LEAST strike up a conversation.  
  
"So what are we going to do?" Sasuke asked suddenly.  
  
Close enough.  
  
"Dunno. YOU'RE the supposed genius. YOU figure something out."  
  
Not really the best way to say 'Ashiteru'...  
  
"Humph. Be that way..."  
  
[Hanna] Sasuke and Naruto sat in serene silence for a moment, thinking about what to do. A minute or so later, Sasuke's face brightened and he exclaimed,  
  
"Cookies!"  
  
Naruto looked at him strangely, then Sasuke said, "We should bake cookies!!!!"  
  
Naruto poked Sasuke's head and said, "What are you thinking, baka? In Here?!?!?!"  
  
Sasuke looked crestfallen. "Oh...well, I'll bake you cookies later. Ah, the joy of cooking..."  
  
Naruto slapped him lightly and said, "Come on, what are we REALLY going to do?"  
  
[Ari] Sasuke sighs and closes his eyes.  
  
"We're sitting in a bathroom. What is there to do?"  
  
Naruto's face suddenly brightens and he jumps toward the cabinet, shoving Sasuke out of the way. He opens it and digs out a deck of cards. Sasuke looks oddly at him.  
  
"You get bored in the bathroom and play cards with yourself?" Naruto nods. "There's no one else to play with."  
  
[Katie] Sasuke sighs, gives in, and plays cards with Naruto.  
  
About an hour later, Naruto got up to stretch for the millionth time.  
  
He slipped on a puddle of water, crashed into the cursing Sasuke, and pushed him -accidentally- into the now dry tub, and was lying on top of him a minute later.  
  
[Hanna] Before Sasuke could think, he tilted his head up and planted a kiss on Naruto's cheek. This shocked Naruto so much, he blacked out. [Lucky Sasuke.] Naruto's head dropped onto Sasuke and his body went limp. Sasuke thought frantically... he tried to fight his urges, but it couldn't last long. Soon he was slipping his tongue into the sleeping Naruto's mouth...  
  
[Ari] Naruto wakes up a while later to find his shirt half way off. He looks around for Sasuke and finds him still in the bathtub, but as far away from Naruto as humanely possible.  
  
"Sasuke?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What did you do to me!?"  
  
"... Nothing."  
  
[Katie] 'Dangit...' Naruto thought.  
  
He ignored Sasuke's smirk and instead walked over to the door. He kicked it fiercely, and began shoving Kunai in it in random places.  
  
"OPEN SESAME!!"  
  
Sasuke gazed at him uncertainly, with a bit of a hint of fear.  
  
He was without doubt, insane.  
  
[Hanna] Naruto continued to no avail for about an hour, trying various tactics to open the door (or rather, break it). Sasuke had grown tired of the boy's useless attacks, and gave himself up for stuck. Since there was no room on the floor because of Naruto, Sasuke sat down in the bathtub. Soon he felt himself drifting off....  
  
[Katie] "Oi! Sasuke-CHAN!" Naruto yelled in the boy's ear a bit later. He started, and jumped quickly out of the bathtub. His clothes were ruffled, like Naruto's, and to the two people standing outside the door, they would have thought something went on.  
  
"Sakura? Kakashi?" Sasuke asked.  
  
"We came to see why you guys were so late for practice, and we heard Naruto killing the door, so I picked the lock." Kakashi said proudly. Sakura glowered.  
  
"Actually, Kakashi-SENSEI, *I* picked the lock." Kakashi hung his head, and nodded.  
  
Sakura then noticed the boys state. She did a double take between the two, and then gasped.  
  
"What HAPPENDED?!" She asked in a panic that her Sasuke-kun had been taken away by... him.  
  
[Ari] "We got locked in and we played cards!" Sasuke remains silent as Naruto rambles on.  
  
The dark haired boy stands up; ignoring Sakura's stupid questions, and goes into Naruto's room.  
  
[Hanna] (Katie: She's a pervert o.O) As Sasuke arrives in Naruto's room, he sees his first target...  
  
Naruto's dresser.  
  
'Perfect!'  
  
He ran to it, pulled open the drawer, and immediately his jaw dropped.  
  
It was full of boxers, whitie tighties, and...  
  
THONGS?!  
  
He lifted one up as if it was a dainty tissue.  
  
He stared at it. It was a woman's small.  
  
Suddenly, an idea came to mind.  
  
He grabbed the stapler off Naruto's desk, and stapled it to the wall. He did one after another, and soon the walls were covered, and the dresser almost empty.  
  
He noticed something at the bottom of the drawer.  
  
He pulled it out, and it turned out to be a stack of pictures.  
  
Of Naruto...  
  
In a thong, striking a pose.  
  
(Katie: Who took those?!)  
  
The next ones were the same: Playboy Naruto.  
  
"WHAT THE HECK?!" Screamed Sasuke, very upset.  
  
They were scary, but he had to admit, Naruto looked good...  
  
'EWWW! MUST GET THOUGHTS OF THAT OUT OF HEAD!!!' Sasuke screamed in his mind.  
  
[Katie] "Sasuke?" Naruto began opening the door.  
  
Sasuke jumped, looked at the thongs on the wall, and ran quickly to the door, standing in Naruto's way so he couldn't see.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"We're all going to dinner, you wanna come?"  
  
"Uh, no... I'm ok." It was true, he wasn't hungry.  
  
"Ok then, bye." And Naruto was gone. Sasuke heard the door slam, and, from the window, watched them all disappear around the corner a few moments later.  
  
He sighed in relief, and forgot about the walls, as he noticed a small book on the trunk at the end of Naruto's bed. He picked it up, and opened it.  
  
"Diary..." He whispered to the empty house.  
  
He began reading...  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
You know, I was watching Sasuke sleep last night. He was really cute. I know, I shouldn't be saying that, but it's true. Really. Guess what he wears to bed?  
  
(Katie: This was Hanna's idea!)  
  
Red, silk, cheesecakes print boxers!!  
  
I watched him sleep for a lot of last night. Did you know he talked in his sleep?  
  
I knew what he was dreaming; he talked about most of it.  
  
Rabid fan girls were chasing him.  
  
It was weird. It seems in his dream, he ran here, to my house.  
  
And we kissed.  
  
That seems to be happening a lot lately, you know? He woke up a bit before I could get away, AND, to top it off, he saw me staring at him. To add to that, I had been drooling.  
  
So, you know what Sasuke did? Turns out he was still asleep, he sat up, grabbed me, and pulled me down. He would have gotten me in the same bed, but I grabbed a pillow in a moment of panic, and he was left hugging that.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Katie: So, what do you think?  
  
Hanna: We stayed at Alison's house last night, and we were all totally surprised that everyone thought it was so funny!  
  
Katie: Yup! Made us happy! ^_____^ Yeah, so, please review!  
  
Also, sorry Alison isn't here, we have a good excuse!  
  
Uhm... great I forgot. Happens all the time, no big deal! 


End file.
